


Binge Eater

by Egnaro97



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Blood, Cannibalism, Gore, Horror, Manga Spoilers, Psychological, Reincarnation/OC/SI, Tragedy, Violence, eating humans
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-17
Updated: 2015-03-23
Packaged: 2018-03-18 07:56:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3562106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Egnaro97/pseuds/Egnaro97
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kamishiro Rize was voracious, independent, unmotivated, bored, strong and loved food. The individualistic girl was quite similar to the one in the tale, but they weren't the same. SI/OC-Reincarnation! Manga Spoilers!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Fate

**Author's Note:**

  * For [DVP21](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DVP21/gifts).



CHAPTER ONE: Fate

She didn't believe in fate. Anyone living to fulfill their destiny was an idiot. Simple as that. Even if fate were to exist, it didn't mean that individuals didn't have their own free will. So if someone were to act on their own accord it would be their fate anyway. The whole concept was little more than arbitrary thinking. As many things in the world, it couldn't be proven or refuted. It was why she didn't waste her time thinking about such things.

Until that day.

From that day on, the concept would pass her mind more than ever before. How couldn't she? It was laughable. Kamishiro Rize had died and been reborn as the character she shared a name with. Well, the name given to her upon her rebirth wasn't really Kamishiro Rize, but there was no refuting she had been born as the binge eater ghoul of Tokyo Ghoul. Kamishiro Rize was just conveniently the name she gave herself after a certain incident which she didn't currently want to think about—though, the kanji had been a little different. Her appearance, the fact she was a ghoul and her kagune didn't leave room for any other reasoning.

It was a sick joke.

She was supposed to be dead, not some fictional character.

For the most part she discarded this information. Real or fake, she was there. She'd continue on with her life. For the most part she didn't think about fate or the unnaturalness of it all. Fate was cruel if it existed. This life certainly wasn't happier than the last. Rize wondered if she was doomed to a tragedy. This life was probably going to be worse than the last. At least her existence wasn't illegal in her last life. But at least she had strength in this life. Maybe a trade-off? But that wasn't right. She'd been strong in her last life. At least physically.

Speaking of which, her transitioning to a ghoul's life wasn't so bad. She was fed humans the entirety of this life. She already took liking to the taste before she had been conscious of what she was doing. Rize's hesitance emerged when her brain could finally process her memories coherently. She hadn't like talking about internal organs in her past life. It was sickening. Much more when it was something that resembled her form. A human as she once was. But she couldn't ignore that it was the only thing she could eat and that she knew it was delicious. It was like people showing her videos of how animals are grown and processed. Not something pleasant to watch but didn't deteriorate her love for the food. Except now it was in relation to humans.

This life may be a sick joke, but Rize didn't want to die; she didn't want to suffer from a ghoul's hunger.

It took a while to supress the reasons why her actions should be sickening, but eventually managed it.

Why should she give up eating for them? She owed no one anything. Much less those who ostracize her. Oh, there were plenty of ghouls who erred her just as much. She'd eaten a few of them too out of contempt. Humans and ghouls, she really couldn't care less which she killed. Of course, the ratio between humans and ghouls she has eaten weren't even comparable. Humans were much more delicious. Ghouls tasted gross. At least the ones she's eaten. Perhaps it was all about the physique and kagune. She could have just eaten rotten ghouls. Or the ill taste could be a warning that cannibalizing could lead to insanity, as she remembered so many other fans put it.

The world was a terrible place. An endless cycle of pain and hardships. Life wasn't fair nor would it ever be. The world could die for all she cared. It was a conclusion she reached a long time ago. There was no black and white, right and wrong, only opinions and those with power or moral support to be the winners of the natural hierarchy to enforce their views. A world where people think you abnormal for being different. A world that deviants will always be ostracized and tormented, sometimes without even noticing it. So no, she had no care for the world. There was only herself. It was part of the reason she was ferociously independent. That and in her past life for several crucial years of her life, her parents had opposite schedules than her giving her a lot of alone time. Moving a lot also minimized any chance of friendships, and even then they had usually been shallow relationships.

It was just her.

Rize would always be alone.

Partially by choice. Partially by the pressure of society.

She would avoid thinking of the one person who had made the unbearable world a reason worth living. Thinking of that person would surely destroy the resolution she built.

She had been against murder in her last life, but it became a necessity in this one. That last little push drove to desensitize past the last bit of conventional morals she held.

As previously experienced, starving sucks. Why should she starve herself just so someone could live a while longer. It was their own fault for trusting her. But people had always trusted her, didn't they? High expectations and delusional. As if getting good grades meant she knew everything, and the moment you don't know something they treat you like a failure who outlived your usefulness. That because she was more willing to do things and had motivation meant that she was a pawn or the king—neither appealing when you're a different piece. That because she could play devil's advocate in debate, regardless of personal beliefs, that she was a monstrosity and threat to civilization.

Yes, killing for food was almost like a game now. Sure there was the fact that you needed to kill and eat someone without getting caught, but she took more pleasure in how and who she ate. She had preferences. She preferred someone easy to tear and chew. But in the end food was food. She'd easily sacrifice a bit of the taste if she meant she could watch them squirm. To see the hopelessness in their eyes. That the law and goodness they saw in the world would disappear and face the harsh truth. Egocentric and arrogant people were also fun. For the almighty to fall to no power. To recognize how powerless they are. The psychology thrill of the moment gave her the most pleasure. It always gives her an adrenaline rush.

More so, she loved destroying peaceful lives. Those who only know of love and happiness. Those who knew nothing of loneliness and suffering. It was probably out of envy, but she would never admit it. The rush it gave her made her feel so alive. A sense of being.

She didn't know if this was all just a coincidence or if the manga was factual to this world. What she did know was that either way she wouldn't let others tear her down.

Kamishiro Rize was voracious, independent, unmotivated, bored, strong and loves food. The individualistic girl was quite similar to the one in the tale, but they weren't the same.

So even if fate were to exist, they don't share the same destiny.


	2. Welcome to the 20th Ward

Rize recently moved to the 20th Ward. The 11th Ward was getting boring and the smell of fish from the fisheries stunk. It wasn't odd. Moving was a natural occurrence in her life. The 11th district was a wreck and investigators were becoming more active in the area. Plus, who wouldn't want to move to the calm, peaceful, safe 20th ward.

She remembered the manga fairly well. Even if she didn't it wasn't like she would be able to point out what she forgets. At the moment there wasn't anyone she would be scared of. After all, they never did anything to that Rize. Six months had gone by in the manga, and the peace loving fools did nothing as someone put attention on them. There would be a few ghouls to be wary of when she arrived, but she wasn't concerned of anything happening to her. She knew, after all. She just had to avoid metal beams in the future since she didn't want her organs taken from her, be subjugated to Kanō, or be locked up on the brink of starvation. Screw that.

There would be the concern of the Aogiri Tree, but she'd face that when the time came. She wasn't exactly a planner. She had no ambitions. She just went through life doing as she pleased.

There was also the Clowns to watch out for but they were as predictable as her. Why had Rize been their original target? Perhaps there wasn't a reason or maybe it was because that Rize had so much influence in the ward that people acted differently once she left. She would probably never know, but it was good to remain wary to her surroundings.

Thinking about her surroundings, she wondered if there was a good feeding area around here. It had been a few days since her last meal. She spent the day getting a feel for the area, or at least as much as she could. The 20th Ward was relatively large.

Her adrenaline rushed as the sky darkened. There was no rule about only killing during the night. In fact, she was sure that many killed during the day. However, night was a good cover for their doings and less likely someone will come across the scene.

Rize, once comfortable with the surrounding routes, decided it was time to choose her prey.

She walked along a main street wondering who was susceptible to make her move. She caught sight of a young man wearing jeans, a baggy sweater and a faded colour hat. His stubble showed he hadn't shaved in a few days. He was leaning against the wall bored.

I walked up to him. "Excuse me?"

"Huh?" He looked to his left to see a young woman wearing a white dress with a brown belt, and a space cadet blue jean jacket.

"Are you waiting for someone?"

"Kinda."

Rize hummed as she brought her hand up to caress the side of his face. "Why don't you forget whoever that is and come have some fun with me." She leaned in close looking into his eager eyes.

"Really?"

Rize gently pulled his hand out of his pocket to wrap her arm around his and intertwine their fingers. She smiled mischievously at his and confirmed with a un-huh. She led him through the dark back roads.

Honestly, she hated this: the forced smiles, the acting. She didn't blame the man's behaviour. She instigated this after all. She wondered if the numbness, the hollowness, she experienced was partly from that. The expectations of others and normalcy…things that can only be recreated through this act.

"Here?" He looked around. It was hard to see.

"Is that a problem?" Her head tilted.

"Well, if it's fine by you." He advanced forward, but suddenly halted. His eyes wide and blood dripped from his mouth. His body trembled in shock. With hesitancy he followed the thing coming out of the girl's back to his stomach. It impaled his stomach. Looking back up he noticed that the girl's eyes were a hollow black with red pupils that glowed in the darkness of the night.

His lips open to release quaky breaths. His mind still processing the events and pain that he couldn't scream.

It all came crashing down on him. "Ah…Ahhhh…..AHHHHHHHHH!"

Rize's kagune left his body. She watched as the main feebly tried to run away. The loss of blood already taking a toll on him as his movements were slow and jerky. He couldn't even walk in a straight line. And while he tried to put pressure on the gaping hole in his front, he could do nothing about the blood trailing behind him from the whole behind him.

He wouldn't make it far, but she wasn't waiting on him. Her kagune shot forward and wrapped itself around the man.

"I don't have anything against you. I don't. You were just at the wrong place at the wrong time." She felt a tinge inside her. She smiled. A sense of feeling. Nothing exhilarating from when she carefully picks her targets, but it was still something. She looked at his limp form. Either passed out or dead—not that it really mattered which. This hunt had no psychological thrill. This was simply for food.

She was about to take a bite when two uninvited guests arrived.

"You're in our territory."

Rize looked over at them unamused. "I don't care."

"You bitch!"

His friend place a hand on the other's shoulder. "Calm down. We can make a deal. You leave without the body and we'll forget about this little mishap."

"You're so weak that you would rely on another to feed you. How pathetic." Rize stood from her crouched position. "This isn't the best location either meaning that you were simply stuck with this area, weren't you?" She grinned tauntingly. She could see their rage building as they showed their own Kagune.

"Why you-!" The one ghoul ran towards her and she used her Kagune to cut off his head. Her other three claws stabbing him needlessly.

"People like you irritate me."

His friend stared shock how easily his friend was killed, but was killed himself before he could do anything.

Rize looked at the scene bored. "What a mess."

She hadn't been lying. There were worse places to hunt, but the area was hardly desirable. It was near a main road, and just up the street backed up to a residential area which meant that making too much noise may alert someone. She couldn't stay there long. She opened her bag and ripped a few parts of the human apart and shoved it in. She would have to eat at home. Looking over at the ghouls, she tore their kagunes and placed them in her bag too. She wasn't going to leave it to become a Dove's weapon. Albeit, it would probably be weak or scrapped since they were so weak.

She made her escape into the small apartment she rented. She couldn't store too many parts. She didn't need her neighbour questioning the smell like her last one. It's troublesome if the landlord finds out.

The 20th Ward was a little boring with her first experience, but just maybe she could make the place a little more interesting.


	3. Tsukiyama Shuu

Screams echoed down the back alley. Rize grinned in delight as her prey was trembling too much to even stand.

"A slut you say?" Using her kagune to impale her victim's shoulder. She hadn't been pretty in her last life but she hadn't been pitiful like the girl before her.

"You slut! You hag!" The girl screamed as her hand moved up to her shoulder. Despite despising the girl, Rize would at least acknowledge that she was headstrong. She wondered if it was the girl's self-defence mechanism when she felt hopeless. Hopeless was the only way to describe her situation. She would die. That was certain.

Rize walked forward and pull the wiry brown hair of the girl who dared slander her. Her face contorted in pain and tears streamed down her face. Her breath uneven as she just wanted the pain to stop. For the fear to disappear. "Eh? I'm a slut? Why? Because the guy you like would rather lay me. What a joke." Rize's voice was low and mocking. She threw the brunette into the wall. The girl gasp for air which had been difficult to do because of the impact.

Rize squatted down to look at her victim's pained face. "I've never slept with anyone, so I can hardly be called a slut. But what about you. Your jealousy is so ugly. After a boy who doesn't want you. It's not just your personality that's ugly." Rize's Kagune shot through the girl's stomach which also caused the brick was to crack and crumble. She coughed up blood.

"But how many people have you had to beg to get what you want. Your scent reeks."

Growing tired now that the girl stopped fighting as she became restless, Rize finished her life.

Rize tilted her head looking at the scene. Crooked body. Blood splattered. Wrecked wall. It was the typical crime scene, yet she wasn't amused. "I wanted to break you more. So weak willed for someone with a large mouth." She didn't even look appetizing. "I think I'll leave you for the lesser ghouls. That is if they want you and get to you before the CCG arrive."

Rize took the girl's purse and removed the wallet. She took the ¥4500 without a trace of guilt. She really should just get a job.

The girl would have been the eighteenth person she killed that month. Twelve of them humans and six ghouls who got in her way or dared to think they could face her. That always seemed to be a problem moving around. Some ghouls got too comfortable in their "territory" that when someone new came along they didn't know how to handle it.

She walked home and locked the door. She opened the fridge and grabbed a bottle. She had the blender was able to handle the epidermis. Blood obviously wasn't a problem. It had only been an experiment in an attempt to discover different ways she could eat, but since it turned out as a success she wasn't going to complain.

The next day Rize sat in a coffee shop drinking a dark roast while reading Dazai Osamu's Disqualified from Being Human [1]. She could kind of understand why so many spoke of their attachment to Yōzō whether she agreed with their interpretations or not. She doubted how many people claim to understand him actually did. In a deep sense—not scratching the surface of oversimplifying his problems. But the part that always—always—was able to invoke emotions into her was the epilogue. In fact, if characters were real she would want to impale the two from the epilogue; that's how many feelings they gave her.

Reading of Yōzō's thoughts throughout life, one said he would have put him in an asylum. The other denied it was real and believed there was nothing ever wrong with him. Her hands trembled thinking of it.

She couldn't kill them but there were plenty of people like them in real life. Those kinds of people were the ones she usually chose to kill. Ignorant. Fools. Blinded.

The bell rang as the door opened. "Monseiur, I'll take my usual."

It should have been obvious, but it took a moment to process who was before her. Or perhaps it was because it was obvious that she remembered his name at all.

"Tsukiyama Shuu."

"Indeed I am," he said as he heard his name. He looked intently at Rize trying to recognize her. "I'm afraid you have me at a loss Mademoiselle,"

"Shouldn't you be in school," she said. He was still a student if she remembered correctly, no matter how much a school setting didn't really suit his image.

"Oh my, have I gained a stalker?" Tsukiyama sat down across from her and the employee came and placed his order in front of him.

"Hardly." After a thought, she decided to give him her name in hopes he wouldn't call her mademoiselle again. "I'm Kamishiro Rize."

"Hmmm." He stared at her longer. "Would you happen to be that Rize?"

"So I've already made a reputation for myself." Saying so was nostalgic. It was odd. Wherever she went she managed to make a name for herself. She knew why of course, but it was still strange having people know you.

"It's not a bad thing. Too many are tamed around here. A shame really. And I see that you read too."

"I'm assuming that the literacy rate here is less than desirable."

"Unfortunately."

In a public place implications played a larger role than explicit conversation. Especially in a café owned by humans.

"I suppose you are…different," said Rize.

"Here isn't the best place to discuss such things, si?" Rize took a sip as she cautiously watched Tsukiyama. Hadn't he been angry at the other Rize. Oh, but that was because she pushed the right buttons. Yet another thing she agreed with the other Rize. Whether she would push the wrong buttons has yet to be determined, though. "We should meet some other time."

She somehow got pulled into trading information with him before making light conversation with him over coffee.

This wasn't going to be the last she saw him. That was certain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1 Official English Title is No Longer Human (人間失格) But Disqualified from Being Human is more of a literal translation and personally I think is a better title in relation to the content.


	4. Nishio Nishiki

Rize licked her lips, devouring the blood as she stood up from the corpse. Why did people always have to interrupt her? "You guys just never get the hint do you?"

She turned around to face a familiar blond. He was the guy that had a similar sounding given name and family name, right. Ni-something something.

"You're in my territory." His kakugan eyes visible in a position to attack. She wasn't surprised. Rize had decided that this was a good hunting ground. It was deep within the city. Many routes in but nothing worth attraction so people didn't often use the routes. Not to mention the lightening was almost nonexistent. The other Rize wasn't stupid. She had good tastes. They really were eerily similar. To the point she often wondered if her past life was all an illusion. A trick of the mind. She'd devoured other ghouls so it wouldn't be that far-fetched.

She stood in alignment to the blond claiming his territory, ready to attack if necessary. This is what it meant to live, right? To be in conflict with others. To fight for oneself. As ghouls, they were designed to fight against each other. They didn't need social status and wealth to compare each other, though those things certainly did exist within their breed; their kagune were proof enough that there was an order among ghouls.

"Is that so?" Her eye lids dropped in a knowing narrowed gaze. "I think I'll be taking it for myself." This is what she had become. A love for food. A binge eater. Now it was probably a border line obsession. A chance to feel, away from the numbness that the world's mark left her with.

He attacked. Granted he was stronger than the other ghouls who had attacked her so far, but he still wasn't a match for someone like her.

A buzzing static sound echoed through her ears and in her head. "Would you shut up?" Rize's voice harsh and a whispery hoarseness. Rize placed her hands on Nishiki's neck and tighten her grip. He chocked and gasped for air as she realized he hadn't said anything. She kicked him to release he frustrations.

"You understand don't you?" Nishiki pulled at her arms trying to make her release him. She used her kagune to block his. "The world doesn't care about you. That's why you have to be strong. Otherwise others will walk over you."

Her lips twitched upward.

"That's why your aneki died wasn't it?"

Nishiki's eyes widened. "What do you know?!"

"Aw. Did I hit a sore spot?" A feeling swelled in her chest. She couldn't distinguish the feeling. Was it pain? Was it pleasure? Was it adrenaline and thrill? Was she just happy that there were others miserable? No, but she wasn't miserable. She accepted the world for what it was. People for who they were. She didn't have to like it but it didn't change reality. So it meant she couldn't be miserable, for what was misery? But others could.

If he reacted this way to someone already dead, he wondered how he would act if she brought up that little human girlfriend of his. Were they even together yet? It wouldn't be fun destroying his spirits if they weren't. It was only fun when people held attachments.

"I'll be taking these grounds now. I don't care if you use them too, but don't get in my way."

"Why you," Nishiki grumbled. He watched Rize's back from his place on the ground as she reproached the corpse. He forced himself up. He wanted to charge at her but as much as he didn't want to admit it, he would lose. He escaped while he could.

Rize stared at the partially eaten corpse.

"He ruined my mood." Rize used one of her kagune claws to smash the man's head. The results more closely resembled what it would look like if his head blew up. His brain torn and scattered in various sizes.

Inhaling and exhaling a few times deeply to recompose herself, she left the premise.


	5. Anteiku

Not wanting to chance running into Tsukiyama again so soon, Rize decided to finally find the coffee shop so widely known as Anteiku. Banjō talked to her about it too, not that his opinion mattered.

Entering the shop, there were only two other customers—both ghouls. She didn't want to be near the window and she wanted to make note of 'she was going to be in the 20th Ward for a while so get used to my presence' so she sat at the counter. Oh and look who's here. Kirishima Tōka. She played the role of an innocent human waitress well, even in the presence of ghouls. Too bad they could smell each other and she knew the plot.

"Welcome. May I help you?" She had her little notepad out, though Rize doubted she needed it to take the order of a single person.

"Of course, Rabbit-san." The teenage ghoul wasn't scared that another ghoul knew which mask she had, but was startled that a ghoul she didn't know knew. It probably wasn't anything to worry about. Word spreads all the time, though it has been a few years since she did anything really worth noting. "I'll take a dark roast, please." Rize smiled her fake smile that would fool any unknowing person. "Oh, and you can tell Yoshimura, Enji Koma, and Kaya Irimi that I'll be wanting that order often. I've decided to move into the area. Wouldn't want you to run out of coffee beans."

Rize wondered if all the taunting and psychological meddling in things she shouldn't know would come back to eat her one day. She couldn't help it though. To stir the emotions of those around her…her thoughts drifted off.

Tōka narrowed her eyes momentarily. They helped a lot of ghouls, but this one seemed off compared to their other regular guests. Something sent her mind on alert. The dark purple haired girl had done her research but why. She forced herself to calm down. For all she knew, she was already acquainted to the others. She nodded began to make the coffee.

Rize reached into her bag to take out Sakurazaka Hiroshi's All You Need Is Kill. She managed to read through a few pages before Kirishima placed her order drink on the counter.

"Will that be all?"

Rize looked at the high school girl over her book. "Actually…Are you close with the manager?"

Of course she was. But she allowed the waitress to respond. She seemed surprised by the question. "I guess." Anteiku was her home. Of course she was. She probably just found it strange why she was asking.

"In that case, do you know how his daughter is doing?"

"…Daughter?" Tōka was at a lost. The manager had a daughter? He was old, but… it couldn't be. "Sorry, you must be mistaken." If he had a daughter she would have visited. She would have heard about it. It was understandable that Tōka would think it a mistake on Rize's part.

Rize took a sip of the coffee before humming. Her eyes never left the brash girl. "You don't know?" Rize feigned surprise and closed her book, placing it back in her bag.

Tōka kept her wary eyes on the girl. She still didn't feel comfortable in her presence. There was something off from the moment she came in. Maybe she was overthinking it. Maybe it was just that irritating smile and knowing look that stared at her almost mockingly.

"His daughter seems to have made a name for herself among both the ghouls and humans. I wonder if you're someone who would know one of her other names. Probably not. You're still young and if you're kept up here in the 20th Ward, you're probably too protected to know."

Rize smile widened as she could tell her vagueness and leaking information was pissing the girl off. She was probably even more annoyed that she insinuated she was a sheltered child when Rize knew Tōka full-heartedly believed a ghoul's life could be anything but sheltered.

Rize drank the remainder of her coffee in a hurry. She had enough messing around with the girl for today.

"I'll be back another time, Kirishima-san."

As she exited the shop she almost bumped into a figure. Kaneki Ken. She saw him blush as he apologized.

He did look like someone good to eat and wondered if she should make a meal of him. But while Ken was the type of build she enjoys eating, he was consumed with loneliness, he was reserved, his parents dead and so on. The only real things that irked was his usual optimism and lack of understanding that sometimes you need to fight back. You don't let others walk over you. However the later just reminded her of her last life when she did what people expected her to do because she herself didn't have any plans.

Her thoughts of the Tokyo Ghoul protagonist continued even as she walked further away from Anteiku.

She couldn't care less about ruining the plot, and her sympathies as a reader no longer applied. Who cares if he was the protagonist of a tragedy once upon a time in another universe? She wasn't "dying", simple as that. Besides, a title he used to have in another universe doesn't apply in this universe. Everyone was the protagonist of their own story. Just because she knew a possible path to his story better than the others didn't give him special privileges. He'd still make a great meal. However, killing him wouldn't be as satisfying as others. The best way to break him would be like canon and having him turn ghoul, but as previously established, not going to happen. Not with her organs at least.

He could be a good puppet. Or maybe a pet. He did have potential, but he wouldn't have the necessity or drive to be as useful as he could be. Not to mention he can sometimes talk too much and throw information around. It took him a while in canon to realize he should trade information, not give it freely. But he also hated ghouls. As a human the chance of obedience was probably none.

There was also the option of doing nothing and just letting him be, but where was the fun in that.

.

The next time she was in Ainteiku she was lectured about the Ward's rules. She hated the rules in the 11th Ward, people telling her rules in the 20th Ward wasn't going to be anything different. She didn't consent. She wasn't part of them. Kirishima also seemed to finally know who she was and probably detested her more now because she was drawing attention to the ward.

"You can't just take others' territory. That's not how we work here."

This had happened to the original Rize to. She could either entertain them or piss them off. Or she could do both. "Alright. I'll give it back." They looked at her in bewilderment. They hadn't expected her to agree so willingly.

After all, just because someone "owned" the land, didn't mean that she wouldn't evade it. Hadn't she even told Nishio that she didn't care if he was on the land as long as he didn't interrupt her? To her that sounded like borrowing not stealing.

The only reason she was being told this was probably because the weaker ghouls probably complained. It would explain why she was being told this only just now. Rize twisted her coffee mug before taking another sip. The current situation, just like the coffee, was anything but bitter. Maybe to the humans but not to her. Titles didn't matter. This land. That land. People have tried to order her around before, but many couldn't tell you about the experience. Many of them were dead. She'd do what she'd like.

Whether they believed her or not didn't matter. She doubted they would take action against her. A clash with one of them would cause too much destruction and then even more Doves would come to the Ward.

"If that's all I'll be leaving now."

The world was twisted. More so the inhabitants were twisted. She wanted nothing to do with the rest of society. She didn't even care about Anteiku. At most the weaker ghouls could finish off the messes she made. If they were that desperate to rely on her leftovers to survive, who was she to deny them that? The way they squirmed to survive. They should just grow a backbone or work together. The average person could never out strengthen a ghoul. They, ghouls and human, were all pitiful yet pathetically entertaining.

Rize didn't understand what was so special about Anteiku. Unfortunately, as long as she stayed in "their" Ward, she would have to put up with them whether that be peacefully or through violence.


	6. Interlude

There was less than a year now, wasn't there? Was there even half a year left? Life wasn't exactly peaceful, but there was a calmness that the passage of time was insignificant to her. It would all end soon. Aogiri would come after her. Jason would be after her (while part of Aogiri he probably had different motives), possibly the clowns, and since she planned for her future to be different than the other Rize, there were possibilities of Anteiku wanting to deal with her or the CCG finally discovering who she was.

Rize laid on the hard floor, unmoving, lost in thought.

She wanted to say she didn't care, but she did. She wanted to change her future but knowing that she could be used by other soon, or dead. It was hard not to think about it.

However, thinking about it was resurfacing thoughts of her past life. The fact she was a ghoul was no excuse for Rize's behaviour even if subconsciously she used that fact as one. Recalling the past she couldn't help but criticise herself, but the lingering feelings she used to bear would not vanish even with the self-criticism.

She closed her eyes and tried to push the past away. Rize wasn't that girl anymore. She was better than that.

Would the feelings be pushed back if she went out to eat? But Rize didn't really want to be out and about in her current state.

Rize got up and went to the kitchen. She grabbed a knife from the drawer. She didn't need it, but it kept the illusion that she was human, just in case someone ever did come into her home.

She placed her hand on the counter and slammed the knife down several times before chuckling. Of course it wouldn't do anything, but it was just the thing she needed. A reaffirmation of her place in the world—meaning it pushed back the thoughts from her last life.

No matter how similar, they weren't the same. The bent knife was proof enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No matter what I do this scene doesn't connect to anything, so I'll make it up to you all in the next chapter. Guess who shows up next chapter ;) Someone you can probably guess and someone else.


	7. Reflection

Kaneki was reading a book as he drank and relaxed in Anteiku.

“Excuse me?”

Huh? Was someone talking to him? Kaneki looked up from his book to see the girl he almost bumped into a few weeks ago. He had begun to notice her in Anteiku too for the past few weeks. She read too.

But the fact that she was talking to him…

It was surreal.

He suddenly felt very flustered. Whether it was because she was a girl or he was simply unused to talking to people (or both) he couldn’t be quite sure as his emotions scattered. 

“Y-yes?” He could feel the heat rise to his cheeks, but the girl didn’t comment on that. 

“Do you mind if I sit with you?”

Kaneki noticed that there was plenty of empty space in the shop. It wasn’t from necessity. The girl wanted to sit with him. 

“O-of course.”

Tōka looked at the scene with narrowed eyes.

.

Anteiku had become Rize’s new coffee shop choice. Though, she couldn’t be sure if it was for the coffee or the enjoyment of knowing.

Kirishima had taken habit of keeping an eye on her. It was clear that the teen didn’t trust her. Rize understood. But it was because of the teen’s suspicion that Rize had fun with her. She would often greet the waitress or wave at her with an innocent smile whenever she was working as if they were long-time friends. The familiarity irked Kirishima, but that was what was so fun about it.

The manager had also offered her up for coffee on one occasion but she rejected the offer. She didn’t want to have the conversation he probably wanted to have. Rize had been tempted, though. What if he knew Eto’s whereabouts or knew about the situation more than he let on. Perhaps not about particular details, but any tips were welcomed right about now.

Hmmm. Perhaps she would have to take up his offer if he ever asked her again.

Today was no different. It was the weekend, so, once again, Rize could feel the Kirishima girl’s stare on her. She wondered how the waitress would react if she thought she was using the shop as a new place to pick up food.

Rize ignored her normal seat and asked to sit down with Kaneki. He seemed flustered enough. When he finally said she could sit with him, she pulled out the chair and sat down across from him. “I’m Kamishiro Rize.”

“Nice to meet you Rize-san. I’m Kaneki Ken.”

They made brief, idle conversation. Partly because Kaneki seemed to be tripping over his words (not a surprised since it took him six months originally to talk to the other Rize), and also because it was technically their first meeting. It wasn’t likely to lead to an in depth conversation.

Rize eyed the boy. He had a small frame, had problems starting conversation, and was a closed-in person. He didn’t have the greatest life, but it was relatively peaceful. 

He wasn’t an exciting person. She understood that. Still, she could never understand what so many fans thought wrong with this Kaneki. Sure is was a psychological and tragic story but in general there was nothing wrong with this type of person. 

Was it because they liked the white hair Kaneki better (which I should remind them that was only white from the severe stress of torture)? If that was the case did his fans like to see him in pain? To suffer? Probably. That’s just how cruel they were. To see someone emotionally damage. To see someone willing to hurt another. How many of them have comfy lives? Would they trade places? Of course they wouldn’t.

Then there were those that claimed this Kaneki was a wimp. That he should just get over his humanity and eat people since it was “his only choice”. 

People disgusted Rize.

Then there were those who criticized him for ultimately accomplishing nothing. Unfortunately, that was just a sad fact of life. Most people never truly accomplished anything as they went about trying to get by in life. It wasn’t nothing. It was life.

Rize could remember feeling connected to a protagonist in the longest time when she read about Kaneki. An endless circle of things going against you. Feeling you don’t belong with others. Psychological problems out of our control. The will to not do something even if it’s for the “best”.

“Who’s your favourite author?” Of course the topic changed to books. She should have expected it. No, Rize had expected it.

“Hmm…” She put on her thinking face. She already knew her answer though. She didn’t have a favourite author. She didn’t prioritize such things. Favourite authors, favourite books, favourite colour, favourite food… it just seemed so trivial. There were things she liked. Things she disliked. Things that annoyed and frustrate her. Things like love, hate, favourite, absolute were things that she did not understand. “I’m afraid I don’t have one.” She could have lied. If she said Takatsuki Sen, she was sure to win points with him. There wasn’t really a point in that, though.

“You…don’t have one?” For someone whose life was surrounded by novels, he didn’t understand how a fellow reader couldn’t have one.

“I’m afraid not. I’ll admit that there are certain authors I’m more particular to, but I’m hesitant to call them my favourite.”

“Is that so?” Kaneki took a sip of his drink. “What do you think of Takatsuki Sen? She’s my favourite author.”

“She is popular isn’t she?” Rize smile in amusement. “But well deserved even if I think many overlook the deep complexity of her stories.” Kaneki’s expression brightened, happy that Rize shared his opinion about Takatsuki’s books and liked his favourite author too. 

“They are aren’t they?”

“Speaking of Takatsuki-san, did you know about the manager of this shop?”

Kaneki looked confused. “The manager?”

“Did you know? He’s actually Takatsuki’s father.”

“Is he really?” He looked over to the counter but the old man wasn’t there. 

“It’s too bad really. I’ve never seen her here. It’s still a nice shop, though, so I still like coming here.”

Kaneki had hoped he would get to see Takatsuki one day, but the chance was still slim. After all, how often did people visit their family at work? He supposed it made sense that he hadn’t seen her.

.

Kaneki was happy to continue to talk to Rize on occasion whenever they met up. They had spoken on ten occasions now and he was becoming more comfortable around her. 

He wondered if she would oppose exchanging phone numbers or hanging out somewhere else besides Anteiku, but if not Anteiku was still nice.

“Yo Kaneki. You’re spacing out.”

Kaneki blinked as a hand was waved in front of his face. “Sorry Hide, I wasn’t listening.”

“Geez. What has you so out of it?”

“I met someone.”

“Eh?” Hide was a lot louder than he had to be. Was it really something to make that big of a commotion about. “You have a girlfriend? I don’t even have one.”

Kaneki blushed and raised his hands. “It’s not like that. We’re just friends.” One of his hands raised higher to cover his chin. Something Hide took obvious notice of.

“Right.” Hide rested his head against his raised, crossed arms. 

“I’m serious.” Kaneki’s blush was still ever present. “She likes the same kind of books as I do.”

“Books? Sounds boring. Where did you meet her? Is she pretty?”

Kaneki’s blush died down but didn’t disappear since he was being interrogated. “I met her at Anteiku.”

“The coffee shop you go to?” Hide never went with him, but he wasn’t Kaneki’s best friend for no reason. Being observant helped too. “And you didn’t tell me… Is she pretty?”

Kaneki’s blush intensified as he shouted Hide’s name. He knew he was only trying to tease him.

“Ah. Maybe I should come with you. Then I can meet this mysterious friend of yours.”

“I’m serious Hide. We’re only friends.”

“Right. Right,” said Hide waving the brunet off. He couldn’t help but be curious of Kaneki’s friends. He didn’t mean it the wrong way, but Kaneki wasn’t exactly a people person. Besides, as his best friend, he needed to make sure his friend was in good hands when he wasn’t there. 

.

It was amusing how Kirishima was still highly suspicious of her. More so for the fact that Kaneki was still alive. The situation must have been a mental rubix cube to her, in which she couldn’t complete. Since she and Kaneki met up on the weekends, she saw plenty of Rabbit-san. After all, those were open availability days for her. 

The bell rang as the door opened and Rize looked in the direction.

Rize tilted her head when Kaneki came in with someone. 

She involuntarily tensed.

Nagachika Hideyoshi. 

In her past life, Hide had been one of her three favourite human characters along with Jūzo and Seido. Also easily within her top 5 characters of the series in which she couldn’t properly order.

But that wasn’t what bugged her.

Kaneki would have been in her top five and that was a fictional world.

However, just because it was fictional, didn’t mean the personalities were any different now that she was here.

No. She froze for another reason. She didn’t want to freeze, but her subconscious didn’t know how to react.

It wasn’t even fear. Hide was observant sure, but what could he do to her that others haven’t already tried. 

No. It was the fact that his character—now this person—always reminded her of someone. If Kaneki largely reminded Rize of her past self then Hide would have represented her past sister. The sister who understood her without trying. The only one whose connection stuck with her and allowed her to keep living—and the statement was far from an exaggeration. If anything, it was probably an understatement. All he needed was Kaneki’s intelligence and love for books and then they would be infinitely similar. 

She couldn’t think about that thought.

She couldn’t think about then. 

She shouldn’t think about then.

She shouldn’t think about her.

Rize wanted to shake the cold, empty feeling off, but it kept persisting.

“Hello, Kaneki-kun.”

“Hi Rize-san. Sorry about Hide. He suddenly wanted to come with me.”

“Oi. Oi. You’re making me feel like I’m not wanted here. But seriously, Kaneki? This her?” Hide stared at Rize for a moment and Kaneki was nervous. He didn’t need approval but it would be nice if he supported him. “Say,” the blond directed his comment to Rize, not shy in the least. “Why him? He’s way out of your league.”

Kaneki blushed. “Hide!”

Hide seemed to notice the tenseness and hollowness of Rize’s eyes. Also the fact as she hadn’t said anything since her greeting to Kaneki. Then she blinked and loosened. He didn’t know what happened but he could tell those eyes he had previously seen were haunted and lonely.

“Don’t worry about bringing a friend.” She switched her gaze from Kaneki to Hide. “I’m Kamishiro Rize. It’s nice to meet to Nagachika.” Hide blinked at the use of his name. He hadn’t gave it yet and Kaneki only called him Hide. Rize smiled knowingly. “Kaneki’s talked about you before.” Hide turned to Kaneki, who was in the midst of sitting down scratching his cheek nervously.

Hide pulled out a chair. “All good I hope.”

Rize smiled mischievously. “Maybe.”

“Kaneki! What did you tell her?”

Kaneki grinned a little at the lightheartedness. It was nice to be all together. “I wonder.” If Hide could tease him, he would tease him back. Or attempt to.

The ordered their drinks and began to chat. When their drinks arrived, Hide noticed how dark Rize’s drink was. “Is that black?”

“Yes.” She took a sip. She still didn’t know why some were obsessed with the drink. She would admit that sometimes it was better to have a thinner drink than blood or her shakes, but it wasn’t savoury—but she thought that about everything, so maybe it was just her.

“Isn’t that bitter?”

“Not at all. Well perhaps.” She remembered drinking coffee in her past life. As much as she wanted to leave that part behind her, it was the most convenient to interact with others. She hadn’t been a fan of coffee for the longest time. She eventually got used to the taste but that was only with cream and sugar. It still tasted off but she only drank it for the caffeine back then. “Fortunately or unfortunately, you get used to the taste. I used to put cream and sugar in to disguise the taste. I like it now, though.”

“I’ll never switch from my cappuccino.”

Rize and Kaneki laughed as Hide actually protected his cup as if one of them would steal it.

They continued to talk and somehow Rize survived the meeting.


End file.
